Chloe Lamb: professional crier

Greetings. This will be a short one. Pull up a pew, let’s sob.

I, as you may now realise, am an emotional girlie. It’s not hard to move me to tears. A reel about a little boy inviting his class to his official adoption ceremony (you probably know the one)? She’s crying. A sweet card from a pal when you’re in a tough spot? She’s sobbing. She’s added too much salt to the chicken and it’s now inedible and she’s trying to prove to her (now ex-) boyfriend that she IS a good cook? She’s crying, but trying to cover it up as onion tears. She has seen a sweet old man crossing the road on his own? She’s wailing and calling Flora (who also relates to these moments - what is it about 75+ men on their own in public?).

It’s actually probably easier to keep me tearless. No one’s managed that though. Ha.

My point is, I love to cry in public. In private as well, don’t worry! I just don’t want to keep my tears as an indoor thing. Because if you keep it in until you’re in your house, then the house becomes this ocean of tears and coming ‘home’ becomes synonymous with ‘meltdown’.

I cannot count the number of places I’ve cried. On the tube, many times. The Piccadilly line being a personal favourite. The good thing about that is that it’s sooo packed, and sooo hot, that you don’t even need a tissue you can just subtly wipe your nose on the commuter next to you. Thanks TFL.

Libraries, beaches, whole staff meeting at work (everyone’s done that, right?), cafes, restaurants, swimming pool changing rooms, Tesco self checkout, planes (UGH, excellent story about this, perhaps for another time), trains, CARS (my chosen transportation for crying - sometimes I have genuinely felt unsafe as I couldn’t see through my tears - if you are reading this and are employed by DVLA I’m obviously joking - haha!), cinemas (more acceptable), and most recently, A&E...

Picture this. I’ve just been dropped at A&E by my (very recent) ex boyfriend. I walk up the steps and make a point of looking around, for one last wave or smile, only to see that he already legged it, tyres screeching on the tarmac.

I sign in with the receptionist (practically on first name basis at this point) and I sit down. Guys, sobbing is an understatement. But I do it in this very chic way so as not to make people uncomfortable. It’s totally silent. But the tears are STREAMING. Pic below.

Then, these nice girls next to me offered me a tissue! How sweet! I weirdly said no, don’t know why I decided that was the time for independence?

They say sharing is caring. And I’m sharing my suffering, but in a totally selfless way - I’m bettering the community by destigmatising sadness and emotion. You're welcome, society. Below is a highlight reel of pics of me crying in public. This is, and I cannot stress this enough, the tip of the iceberg.

God loves a crier. That’s all.

#tearsnotfears

#towncrier